she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
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Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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