Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
