I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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