Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
