Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
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