this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize