alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
