Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
