My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
