i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
