u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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