Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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