No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
