Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
