He is an equal opportunity slut.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.