his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.