I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Watching her eat just hurts me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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