I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.