This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
