I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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