it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
