if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
