This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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