wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I deserve this hangover.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
