I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
