she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
