If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize