Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
