You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
