dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
