Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
