You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
