So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
