it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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