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• (678): View more from Georgia

  why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.

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• (916): View more from California

  So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.

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• (646): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!

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• (310): View more from California

  That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos

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