I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
