He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
