you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
