it hurts more in the daytime
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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