I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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