I CAN MOONWALK!
It's Friday. Sex?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
