if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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