So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
