the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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