i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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