i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
