Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
