How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
