Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
