Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
