I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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