My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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