have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
