biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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