The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
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Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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