North Korea, Best Korea!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
