i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
