I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
