I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
as a side note pls kill me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
