We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
