mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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