i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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