that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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