I accidentally had phone sex last night
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
