Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
