You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
