we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
