I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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