Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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