Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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